How on earth could the sky be sad?

I will be honest… it is quite possibly the worst time to be writing. It is exactly 4 am on a Tuesday and I have Zoom singing lessons in 8 hours. Alas, inspiration strikes when it strikes.

Late-night lockdown lunacy written May 5th, 2020; 4am.

I like to say that night is a controversial time. For some it brings great possibilities. For others, unbearable hopelessness. I, personally often feel my most productive and inspired at night. I clean, I organize, I write, and I create. All the while a veil of darkness covers my house. It’s peaceful and yet daunting. Anything could be out there or nothing could be out there, it’s all up to what your brain decides. I usually see night as a hopeful thing. Many people go out at night in search of fun, love and freedom. I am happy at night just being by myself. This is when I feel my most free. I must say that my mildly delirious inner voice is an exceptional conversationalist. I see night as hopeful, just in different ways. However, I too have experienced the wave of unexplained pain felt at night. The feeling deep down that’s both somehow detached and personal. The pain that can be distracted from but never leaves until the morning sun arrives. The pain that calls you to do something. But what? Tonight I felt that pain. I was laying in my bed staring through the crack in my curtains at the sky. It was a perfectly normal sky, nothing special at all, yet I could not shake the feeling that it looked sad. How on earth could the sky be sad? It’s the sky.

I realized why the sky was sad. It didn’t watch hope come out anymore. It didn’t see the smiles of young couples walking out of movie theatres, laughter of old friends sharing a drink, or dreamers roaming about, seeking inspiration. The sky now sees Ambulances, riots, and panic. It’s presence no longer brings hope and is instead a reminder of the joyful practices that can’t occur under it’s quiet and peaceful watch. The night sky feels unwelcome like a small child arriving to an event on a sympathy invite. It knows no one truly wants it there, and yet one must find a way to deal with its presence and the solitude it now brings. Like many things in the modern world, the sky has been provided with tolerance, but never true acceptance.

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